Often when we are over functioning… it’s not love leading us—it’s anxiety, fear, or guilt. Here’s the hard truth: 🚫 When we overfunction, we unintentionally under-function their growth. 🚫 We solve problems they were meant to wrestle with. 🚫 We send the message, “I don’t believe you can handle this.” Signs You Might Be Overfunctioning: You’re more anxious about their life than they are You answer questions they didn’t ask You give unsolicited advice on a regular basis You rearrange your life t
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Brené on Anxiety, Calm, and Over/Under-Functioning
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Overfunctioning originates in childhood, when you can’t count on a parent to be there for you, or when you see a parent overfunctioning themselves. Many adult children of dysfunctional families are overfunctioners, because they had to care for themselves when parents were depressed, struggling with addiction, or embroiled in constant marital strife. Overfunctioners end up saying that nobody wants to take care of them, not recognizing how difficult they make this for others to do, because of thei
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Overfunctioning originates in childhood, when you can’t count on a parent to be there for you, or when you see a parent overfunctioning themselves. Many adult children of dysfunctional families are overfunctioners, because they had to care for themselves when parents were depressed, struggling with addiction, or embroiled in constant marital strife. Overfunctioners end up saying that nobody wants to take care of them, not recognizing how difficult they make this for others to do, because of thei
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